A few nights back my sixteen year old sister and her friends were having a sleepover. Being the creepy older sister that I am, I perched myself next to them with a big ol’ slice of pizza and listened in on their chat AND I FELT SO OLD. What the hell were they talking about? I needed to ask some questions.
Now that I’ve caught up and I’m cool again I thought it would be helpful to impart some of the wisdom that I’ve learned from the youth of today.. and it all revolves around social media. How can adolescence have have changed so much in just 6 years?? Damn you Zuckerburg!
So I’m kind of feeling like snapchat is the new MSN. Instead of trying to coerce the boys on MSN to tell you their top 5, teenagers these days snap things like ‘Snap for rates’ and then everyone will rate your looks, or ‘Snap for a line and looks’. I’m told a reply to this might be something like ‘Don’t speak much but seem nice.’
My sources also tell me that when teenagers these days specifically fancy someone they send them a private ‘Snap for a rate’ message and the person they fancy is none the wiser to the fact that they’re the only ones who got the snap… (which I guess is kind of like signing in and out of MSN twenty times in the hope it might get that special someones attention) sneaky.
Snapchat one-liners also include
- ‘Someone pop up’
- ‘Anyone new speak’
- ‘Anyone doing lifts’ (I asked where on earth they could be going and who is driving at 16 anyway and they just looked at me like I was stupid and said “..Parties”)
- ‘Why am I still awake?’
- ‘Ysgol’ (This means school in Welsh and basically just gives teenagers an excuse to take selfie’s during school hours.. just letting all their peers know they’ve signed in and they’re ready to learn)
When Facebook first started it was such a gimmick to like pages that every single page I saw, I liked. Eventually I reached a point where I had hit my maximum amount of pages and groups that I was allowed to like. Apparently this doesn’t happen anymore.
But if someone sees that a person they consider cool has liked a Facebook page, then they will probably go and like it.
Apparently the following is also a thing…
“OMG you will never guess who popped up to me last night!” (okay I don’t know if they still say OMG but I added it for effect).
Basically if someone is trying to get their flirt on with you, they pop up on Facebook.
Apparently Instagram is a place where teenage girls post selfies in their makeup and boys post selfie’s saying ‘Trim’, which is a reference to their really cool modern-day V cut equivalent. Other popular pictures include people lying out their new purchases on a bed, like man perfume and their new gilet. I wish I could say that this was much different to what people our age are doing but if I had new man perfume and a gilet they would be all over Instagram.
#goals is also a thing that teenagers put everywhere. I’ve seen this all over the internet anyway of course.. #couplegoals, #makeupgoals, but I was given examples by the girls and I really feel that a lot of the times they comment #goals it doesn’t even make any sense.
Here is an example of #couplegoals. I will have to let my boyfriend know we need to invest in matching jackets.
Instagram can also be used to tell whether somebody fancies you. If they like all your pictures then that’s a good sign and if they add you on snapchat and you haven’t given them your snapchat name, it probably means they’ve been stalking you on Instagram and saw your snapchat name in your description.
Apparently this is a place that no self-respecting teenager wants to go and it’s full of people called ‘fuckboys’ (their words not mine).
I guess by the time I was sixteen this kind of stuff was already starting to happen but teenagers today even know the optimum times to post stuff on Instagram to get the most likes. If life is like this for teenagers today, what the heck will it be like in another 6 years time?